Foolish??

Ok, so sometimes I do foolish things that do not contribute too well to the improvement of my bottom line. Tonight I went out with friends after work for dinner and drinks and then decided to stop by the store where I used to buy lottery tickets.

I walked in thinking I would buy 5 quick picks for the Mega Millions lottery and 5 quick picks for the Texas Lotto. First question I asked was how much is the Mega Millions tonight. The guy quickly said it is $189 million. WOW!!! What could I do with $189 million? How many people could I take care of?

Many thoughts rushed to my head and apparently I quickly forgot all about my Debt Diet. Or did I? Was I simply looking for the easy way out. I believe this is what the lottery does to our society and myself. It shows us all what we could have if we just buy that one opportunity. All your troubles can go away.

Is that so? In my lifetime I probably will never win the lottery. Odds are such that probably no one I know will ever win the lottery. Yet I keep thinking I can win. These are things that are going to be a real struggle for me. I believe I can win and that I am supposed to. I believe when they play a lottery commercial they are talking about me.

There I stood in the store trying to decide how many tickets I was willing to buy. Oh yeah I still had not figured out how much the Texas Lottery was. I then asked that question and it was only $27 million. Ok well I am skipping out on that.

So what is wrong with me that I decide to put more of my hard earned money to the bigger jackpot? Do I NOT need $27 million? Is that just such a small amount that it does not matter to me? But of course I opted not to waste my time with the smaller jackpot.

I was doing so well not throwing my money into an empty dream. It has been probably two months since I last threw money into the lottery. Of course tonight I sparked that desire again. I purchased 20 chances to fulfill an empty dream.

In all likelihood tomorrow I will be able to say boy I wasted $20 last night. I will be able to analyze my cash flow and quickly see there went $20 that I could have put towards debt. How much could that $20 have saved me in potential interest? Boy I gotta get better at this diet. Two days in and I guess I am already doing things I believe I need to quit.

Now that I am home feeling guilty about my purchase I have decided that tonight I am going to penalize myself. I opted to spend $20 on the lottery, so I am going to take $40 and put it as an extra payment on something. I know that it really is not a great deal but it will force me to have to do without something. It will also make me think twice the next time I consider wasting money in a lottery.

A self imposed penalty is difficult to impose but it is also going to force me to miss seeing "The Fantasticks" next week. Boy this is going to be a long road but I know in the end I will be better off. I will work harder to not slip back anymore.